Be honest with me. Would you read this, if you have seen this on the back of a book? It’s just an idea, one of many, I have buzzing in my head right now.
Those Rebellious Types
Hi. My name is Sparrowhawk. And I am leading a rebellion against a corrupt government bent on killing us all. Wow, when you say it like that, it sounds pretty cool, if a bit cliche. I mean, I’m pretty sure there are a ton of books and movies about this. But my tale has a major glaring problem. I deal with idiots.
Not just the quote un-quote bad guys. That is to be expected. Though I really do think my foes had been hit with the old idiot stick a bit more than the normal run. I mean who doesn’t notice a hole on top of your top secret elevator for heaven’s sake! And don’t even get me started about their top-secret prison ward. you know, the one that is child’s play to get out of. Or the guards. I mean, wow! Just wow! Not that I have anything against them. We hang out, play cards. That kind of thing. But nobody would lie and say they are powerful in the whole gray matter area. But at least the guards are kind and dumb. And kind of funny. That’s why we hang out when they are not on duty after all.
Their bosses, however, they are a whole another brand of idiot. I just have to shake my head at them. How are they still employed? Unless the others are even stupider than the ones I see daily? Oh man, I never even thought of that. Am I the only smart person left in the world? Or is that the warning that this is all some elaborate fever dream that I am dying from. I mean I know what they say about crazy people. They are the ones who think they are sane and everyone else is crazy. What if I’m sublimely stupid, but think it’s everyone else? You know what? I’m not going down that particular rabbit hole. There lies madness.
Because I’ll be honest here. My side is not much better. We got a couple of people who are pretty clever and everything else you want in a rebellion. Well, one is also a phycho. But nobody is perfect. And my assistant who seems as close to perfect as anyone could reasonably ask for. But some of the others…wow. They think the traps we face are real humdingers, let me tell you. I bet their hobbies involve stirring oatmeal. I’m not even kidding you here.
So basically, I am the leader of a rebellion against the village idiots who somehow got government jobs, with mean streaks way higher than their ability to plan out any kind of threat. While I pretty much babysit man-children. And to the ones who are good, capable people who routinely pull my hinny out of the fire, I am so very sorry for all you guys have to go through. I promise, vacations for you guys, just as soon as it is legal to actually take one. I am marking those days, people!! I swear. It’s one of those little tasks that help me keep san amid the madness.
I need a drink.